Updated: Sep 30, 2022
How many times have you set yourself a goal, been super motivated, but then something happens and the motivation wanes? Things get in the way, you can feel your goal slipping from your grasp, your progress recedes, you make those all too familiar excuses and before you know it you’re back at square one, feeling dejected.
What does that process do to our psyche? It associates the idea of goal setting with failure. Before you know it you are talking yourself out of all kinds of things. You fool yourself into thinking that you are satisfied with your safe, predictable life. You even try to tell yourself that you would be selfish to want more. Who are you kidding!?
But where does this all come from? babies and children don’t feel like that. No baby started walking then stopped because they fell over. Think of the dedication it took for you to learn to ride a bike. Dedication, repetition AND a caring adult who knew how to build your confidence and then “let go”. The chances are that when they did let go, launching you down a hill if they were anything like my dad, you panicked, calling out for them to hold on, maybe you fell, maybe they grabbed you, but eventually you worked together until you were off on your own! Of course you still fell off from time to time, it may have knocked your confidence, but you got back on and you never forgot how to ride your bike!
The point is, it is our childish selves that we must look to look for inspiration and motivation. Somewhere in the transition to adulthood we stopped using failure as a tool to learn. whether its fear of embarrassment, criticism or rejection failure became something to be avoided at all cost and it is to our detriment.
The other childlike quality that promotes learning and creates change, is that trust in another; Trust that they will only let go when you are ready, and up to that point they will encourage and support you. They will keep you focussed on the goal and motivate you to keep going, no matter how many times you fall.
That is essentially what a coach is. They will be your champion, your team mate, your accountability buddy. They will help you set goals and ensure you achieve them. They will hold you accountable for your actions or lack of them and they will reprogram that inner critic, to be your inner cheerleader.
Finally, when you are ready, they will let you go off into the world, to achieve any goal you set your mind to. And this is the real gift of a coach. They are not there just to help you achieve a specific goal but to change your approach to goal setting so that you can start living far beyond your comfort zone.
If you are fed up of fear holding you back and want to create a positive mental approach to change then I’d love to hear from you. Please get in contact for a free consultation.