Often when people tell us what’s going on for them we do one of two things: imagine how we would react in the same circumstances or offer a solution. Studies show that neither are helpful to the other person. In fact all you have to do is listen, without judgement. I mean really listen. Put down your device, don’t get distracted thinking of an answer to what they’ve said. Try and see things as they do. By reflecting back what they’ve said shows them you have listened. Labelling their emotion, even if you get it wrong, it will help them explore the root of their problem and how it’s making them feel. By listening with compassion you do far more than you could ever know. So instead of saying something like “oh yeah i know what you mean, this is what I did.” Try. “That sounds very challenging you seem exhausted by the situation.”
Comments